We exist in a world run by instagram models (who knew there would ever be such a thing) and influencers. Where everything is supposed to be picture perfect, right down to that over- priced avocado toast that you have in front of you. If you didn’t boomerang yourself cracking open a white claw on the beach, did you even go to the beach? In the world that we live in, I like to think that the raw part of life is what you don’t see. What you don’t see are the moments in between the posts; the time you overcooked the thanksgiving turkey so badly that you thought Martha Stewart herself was going to show up at your door just to laugh in your face. Or the time you got fired. Or when your relationship failed. Or the time you didn’t close the deal. Those are the moments that nobody sees. Those are the moments that matter and those are the moments that are sometimes just too heavy to even handle. 

Mental health has a stigma and I hate it.

You don’t question why someone goes to the gym do you? Then why would you question someone about going to a therapist? In order to be totally aligned and I mean mind, body, and spirit; one has to confront internal issues. And let me tell you, that is the most un-fun thing I can think of. Nobody likes to confront their demons. It turns out though, that it’s a necessary evil. O the irony. Sometimes it’s not even one dramatic event that puts you in a tailspin. Sometimes just daily life catches up to you and you get overwhelmed. That’s ok. Life isn’t always sprinkles and rainbows. You are  allowed to not be ok. 

Professional success correlates to mental success. Know how to talk to yourself. Sounds ridiculous right? Positive self talk statistically elevates one’s mood and outlook. Don’t be so hard on yourself if you don’t land the deal or lose a client. Those things happen everyday. You just simply don’t see them posted on LinkedIn. If everyone publicized their failures, social media would be a far more forgiving place.

After I had my daughter, I suffered through an identity crisis. I literally didn’t know what made me happy anymore. It sounds terrible right? It was. My day was so consumed with doing things for other people that I forgot to take care of myself too. Since you can’t expect yourself to operate at 100% if you are only investing 50%, I was doing a disservice to everyone around me. I didn’t know what to do or who to really connect with because I didn’t feel like anyone around me understood. I felt like I had to keep it together all of the time for my daughter, for my business and for my relationship. It was a very heavy time. Anyone that has been through anything like this, I’ll say this: It’s okay not to be okay. 

Do something everyday that makes you happy.

If that means buying fresh flowers, cooking, going for a walk; do whatever you need to do to be a better version of you. Maybe not even be a better version, some days it’s a struggle to even maintain a version of yourself. Either way, be nice to yourself. Cut you some slack. Remember that nobody can keep it together all of the time, so it’s ok to unravel every now again. After all, this is real life. And we’re all just trying to do the best we can. 

Written by Kristin DeBias